I’m starting a “I’m going to write in my ‘journal’ everyday” goal. That doesn’t mean the content has to be super deep, I just have to type some things that have been on my mind. As of right now, I’m going to watch Tyler Perry’s new movie The Family That Preys! I’m excited. I am also working a 16 hour shift tomorrow, so if anyone feels like praying for me that would be cool. Not so much for me, but for Ellie because she’ll get tired of me and then I’ll get physically tired and it’s something that could happen….so prayer is great! I’m also having my LeadTime interview on Wednesday at 3:30, prayers would be great for that too. I’m working on trusting God, which isn’t an easy thing for me….because I’m really controlling and I have to learn that He can handle my life better than I can…because technically it is His life. Anyway, pray that I’d be trusting in whatever the decision is. I love everyone and I’m so glad I can keep in touch with you all this way.
D.C. and Protesting
I went to D.C. for a family vacation and it was a very interesting trip. I actually have a new appreciation for America, well not exactly this America, but the America people were hoping for. I wanted to protest outside the White House, just because I’ve always wanted to, but we didn’t have time. We spent all 3 days exploring our nation’s capital, and I loved it! I don’t know a lot about politics because when I listen I get angry and tune everything out, a bad habit of mine; however, I think I began to understand why so many people think America is great and why so many people are willing to lose their lives for America. America presents a lot of wonderful opportunities, it was built from the ground up; of course many lost their lives during the process, but some would say that’s the price of freedom. (I’m not one of those people) People saw America as a place where they could live comfortably and raise their children, and it is that….for some. Some can’t even afford to do that, but is it the government’s fault, or is it society’s fault? And can those two things be separated? Should they be separated? I don’t know the answer to any of those questions, but they have been on my mind for the past couple of days. We met a man, who was giving tours, and he talked about people listening to 3 hour debates between government officials, and they listened because they were interested in what they had to say. Now, some Americans would rather here what’s happening with an actress or actor, is it because we are disgusted with our government, or is it because people’s values have changed? Is it the government, or is it the people who make up the society?
Oh my family :-)
I saw my nephew graduate from preschool today. He was so precious! My sister, mom, and dad were there as well; my niece, Olivia, was in school. Olivia has a dance recital tomorrow, so I’ll get to see her then.
A few months ago I almost lost my dad. He had an aneurysm burst in his brain, and he should have died right on the spot, but amazingly the blood formed a clot right away. He had a continuous headache for a week, then decided he should probably get checked out. My dad…he’ll do anything to stay away from medical facilities. The doctors realized what happened and had him emitted and ready for surgery. I go into all this to lay the foundation for how I’m feeling about my family at this moment.
I can get a little morbid sometimes, not really sure where it comes from, but most people know this about me. On my way back to Gboro I started thinking about how excited I was that my dad got to see Caleb graduate from preschool and that he got to see me turn 21. Then, of course, I started thinking about how it would have been if my dad had not survived. Lately, I’ve realized that I am a mommy and daddy’s girl and the thought of losing either one of my parents kills a piece of me inside. God performed a miracle when that blood clotted, I have no doubt in my mind.
I am at a point where I consider my parents to be amazing best friends. I used to only want to talk to my mom when I called home, I guess it’s a girl thing, but recently I have wanted to talk to my dad too. He is such a wonderful man and I am supremely blessed to have him as a daddy. I take both of my parents for granted, almost on a daily basis. I hear my friends talk about their parents and some of the horrible things that have happened in their lives because of their parents, and I just want to run home and hug mine for hours. We’ve had our rough points, but I know I am always loved by them.
I am excited to see where God leads me in terms of my parents. I’d like to say that I’ll take care of them, but of course I don’t know what tomorrow holds. I just know that I want to love them as fully as they’ve loved me.
Happy Thanksgiving
Hello Everyone,
I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving and write a little about what I’m thankful for. First of all, I am so thankful to have a God who doesn’t leave me when I’m questioning His existence. He stuck by me, He gave me what I needed, and He opened my heart to His purpose for me. Praise God I am back with Him!
Second of all, I’m thankful for The Patio. All of you are so inspiring in different ways and I am encouraged every time I talk to one of you. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you in my life.
I’m thankful for a lot of other things, but my family will not be happy if I make them late to Thanksgiving dinner, lol; therefore, I am cutting it short. I hope everyone stays safe and enjoys the time they have with their loved ones.
Love you all,
Meg
Disappointment and Frustration
I found out tonight that my 11 year old niece has decided to move in with her father. On the surface this is great…she’ll be able to develop a better relationship with him and get the father/daughter bonding she didn’t have before. However, there are 3 older girls living in her father’s house, they belong to my niece’s stepmom. These girls have already had several negative affects on Olivia, my niece. She created a myspace account, which was supervised by my older cousin, and then when my sister looked at it, it had a sexual reference on it which my niece would not even understand (believe me, I know her well enough). She has also been complaining about her body and dieting, which isn’t just coming from those girls, it comes from the media too, but they do not help. To top it all off my niece came home from her weekend visit with her dad with a thong (no nice way of saying it), she tried to hide it from my sister, showing that she knew it wasn’t something she should have. I am bothered by my niece’s decision mostly because I feel like we, my sister; me; and my parents, have raised her to be more respectful towards us and herself. I am not going to be angry with her because I can understand wanting a relationship with her dad, but I can’t shake the feeling that, that isn’t the real reason she wants to go. The entire situation frustrates me, and I’m praying that God allows me to understand what He is doing.
Busy
Hey World! I’ve been really busy lately, not like busyness busy, but busy. Work, life, family, and random occurences keep me on my toes pretty much everday, all day. It might sound like I’m complaining, but I want to let you know…I’m certainly not. I like being active and having things to do, keeps me sane. I find that being active keeps me focused in the right ways and on the right things. God has blessed me immensly with a job that keeps me going pretty much non stop for 30+ hours a week, which isn’t a lot I realize, but it is still wonderful! I know I haven’t written a lot lately because when I get off work I’m so exhausted because Ellie is full of so much energy, that I can’t really think straight to write anything. I just wanted to give a little update to those of you who read my blog; I am doing well. I had a wonderful time at the Lifehouse and Goo Goo Dolls concert with Tara, perfect night in my opinion. Things have just been rolling along.
Work
It’s about 2:30 am and I’m sitting at my client’s parent’s computer. I love my job. As horrible as this may sound, I love kids who need help. Ellie, my client, is the smartest little girl even though she has autism. This little girl knows exactly what she’s doing and she is so good at getting her way. I can’t help but smile sometimes when she is getting in trouble with her mom, not in front of her of course, but I just think to myself Ellie is sneaky and she knows it. When I’m with her I feel like I’m with perfection. So many people view people with handicaps as useless, or helpless, but I see some of God’s greatest work. I can’t explain it, but I’m so excited when Ellie does something “minor” because it isn’t minor at all, it is something HUGE; and we both say “Yay”. There is so much joy in her and I think that’s why I love being with her, she has more joy than most people. I’m blessed to be helping this little girl, I hope she can sense how much I love her and even if she can’t that’s okay too.
Moving
Well…I am getting ready to move into my new apartment, and I’m looking so forward to it. I love new places because I get to experience exciting things. I also get a place to start over, not necessarily a new state, but I get to make changes to fit my new home. However, moving causes a ton of stress that exhausts me to no end. It reminds me of when I encounter changes in my life. I love them, but they cause huge amounts of stress. I am so happy when things are finally settled and everything is in its place. The only thing is…it won’t stay that way. We constantly go through changes and moves, nothing is ever final. There is something wonderful about that, it means the bad doesn’t have to stay bad, but then it also means the good won’t always stay good. I’m okay with that though, ups and downs, hills and canyons…it all leads to the make up of me, good stuff.
Hello world!
Hello everyone! I write on myspace, but a couple of friends of mine have started using wordpress and I found it to be intriguing. I like simplicity in almost every aspect of life, and my blog is one of those aspects. Myspace is to involved with all the pictures and backgrounds…what’s wrong with just writing your thoughts? Who really needs to know what your dog and house look like? Don’t get me wrong, I think myspace is great for individuals to just have a space of their own on the web and go crazy, but I like simple blogs as well. Now that I’m looking around my account I see that it is possible to turn this into a show of my life, but I’m not going to. A place for my thoughts is just fine with me.
