Today in church we talked about being apart of the amazing story God has written. We talked about the last chapter of the story, paradise. I realized I’ve been living like this is it, you know what I mean? I haven’t been focusing on the eternal kingdom I get to live in when Jesus comes back. Of course I am going to be selfish, hateful, and greedy if my mindset is only on today’s Earth. I know we are supposed to let tomorrow worry about itself, but I wait in anticipation for tomorrow, maybe that will be the day I get to return home. There can be nothing better than worshipping my God all day, knowing Him as a physical presence, and being surrounded by those I care most about. I haven’t been focusing on getting people to that kingdom, lately I’ve been extremely selfish and focusing mainly on myself and God. I’m not implying you shouldn’t focus on your relationship with God, but it becomes a problem when you use it as an excuse not to talk about Him to others, I’d say your relationship with Him isn’t very healthy anyways if you aren’t constantly talking about Him. I asked myself a lot of questions today, a few being: 1. where does God want me? 2. am I supposed to have a significant other in my life at all? 3. how can I better serve my God with the gifts He has blessed me with? These are questions I ask myself daily, but I realized I haven’t really taken them to God, not fully anyways. God knows the desires of my heart, and I trust that He will bless those desires, I just have no idea when. I found today that if I focus on the eternal kingdom, my desires become different. My desires become those of God’s and I really feel like that’s where I should be.
Clarity, Peace, Serenity
I love being in this moment. Right now. My heart feels light and my body is relaxed. I am sharing in the excitement of one of my best friends, and it feels great. Sometimes we do live vicariously through the ones we love, and sometimes that’s what needs to happen. We don’t need all the experiences to happen to us, even though much of the time we wish we could experience the wonderful things that happen in our friends’ lives. I personally have gone through enough in ”Boyland” to be free of it for a year or more, and I think I’m finally starting to realize that. I can celebrate in the great things that happen with my friends, instead of trying to make things happen for me. God is really, really trying to get me to work on me, and I keep ignoring Him….but as always God is persistant. I love that about Him! I am being pursued by THE MAN! It is time for me to be dedicated to this relationship, really put in the effort to love my God completely.
