Cheering Section!

Today was awesome!  I played basketball for the first time EVER, yes EVER.  To add to that, it was in a pool!  I am so thankful to have a church family that still encourages me even when I stink at a game.  It was definitely a good time.  Before I had never played basketball because I was afraid I would be ridiculed for lack of athletic ability, even though I still lack athletic ability, my family gave me praise and I didn’t leave feeling like a loser.  

I want to be like my church community….meaning I want to encourage and praise those who are stinking at the game of life.  They may make some bad decisions, or make a wrong move, but they do some smart things in there somewhere.  We have enough people standing on the sidelines telling us we aren’t doing it right, how about some cheering?  When I see someone do a great thing I want to cheer them on.  I feel like encouraging someone will help them a lot more than telling them to do this and that next time.  They leave feeling like they accomplished something, and in return they want to improve; practice some skills, read some Scripture, develop their character…all to bring glory to God.      

Busy

Hey World!  I’ve been really busy lately, not like busyness busy, but busy.  Work, life, family, and random occurences keep me on my toes pretty much everday, all day.  It might sound like I’m complaining, but I want to let you know…I’m certainly not.  I like being active and having things to do, keeps me sane.  I find that being active keeps me focused in the right ways and on the right things.  God has blessed me immensly with a job that keeps me going pretty much non stop for 30+ hours a week, which isn’t a lot I realize, but it is still wonderful!  I know I haven’t written a lot lately because when I get off work I’m so exhausted because Ellie is full of so much energy, that I can’t really think straight to write anything.  I just wanted to give a little update to those of you who read my blog; I am doing well.  I had a wonderful time at the Lifehouse and Goo Goo Dolls concert with Tara, perfect night in my opinion.  Things have just been rolling along. 

Church Conversion

Why do we have organizations that meet people’s needs?  I just listened to Rob Bell talk about Christians being priests, all Christians.  Ephesians 4:11 says, “So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up”.  All of us minister, we are all called to pastor the people in our lives; not just the men and women who happen to be paid for doing what God called all of us to do.  I don’t want to be someone who says, “I’ll just let them handle it.”  I want to be a person that takes on God’s call.  We were called to help the needy, the broken, the oppressed; when are we going to do it?  There are organizations that bring water to those without clean water, those that help AIDs victims, those that fight poverty, and many other agencies that fight against pain on Earth.  We have all these awesome places, but why?  Isn’t the Church supposed to doing these things?  We have all been given talents and gifts that are supposed to be used for the Kingdom, lets do it.  Rob Bell asked several convicting questions, like he does in many of his messages, a few of them were, “What if the church could be converted to Jesus?……………….  What would happen if there was this church that actually converted to causes larger than it’s own preservation?”  I want to do the work that I was meant to do; the work that several agencies have taken upon themselves because the Church didn’t step up.     

Awaken:Talent and Strength

I took a strengths finder test today, it was given to me by my pastor at The Patio.  I have taken tests like this before, but this one had different results than most.  I expected my strengths to be in harmony, positivity, etc. but they weren’t…or those did not come up.  I found out I enjoy learning, I want to know as much as I can about topics that interest me; that’s probably why I ask so many questions regarding the Christian religion.  There are so many things I don’t understand, so I surround myself with those who can teach me.  I am curious about the times when the Bible was being written, even before that.  I want to know what Jesus was like as a man, outside of what the Bible says; I don’t need to know, but I want to know. 

I also believe in focusing on strengths rather than weaknesses.  I think I knew that about myself, but it is nice when a test tells me.  Reassuring.  I see more strengths in a person than weaknesses, so I guess that carries into my own life.  I would rather continuously improve my strengths than focus on where I’m failing.  I know that weaknesses, especially those that keep me from God, need to be dealt with and most of the time they are, I just tend to spend more time developing strengths.  Along with that, I also like to develop other people’s strengths.  I nurture the potential in people and derive satisfaction from doing so.  

I am excited to see how God is going to bring all my strengths together to bring His glory.  I am also excited about what my pastor said today……our church expects college students to serve along side them, and I plan to do just that.  These strengths were not given to me for my own benefit, but for the benefit of those around me, and ultimately for God’s will to be done in the circumstances I am put into.     

After the storm

Things are starting to calm down in my head.  I have began the process of letting go and moving on with life.  It’s hard to not point fingers at other mistakes I see people make, but that’s only because I was confronted for mine.  I never felt like my behaviors could keep me from being a leader, but I never ever want to be misunderstood by a young girl.  I can already see where God is working through this situation, and it is blowing me away.  A very close friend of mine will be stepping up as girl’s ministry leader, which is such a blessing because she is amazing with them!  I know God will be glorified by her.  Things always have a way of working themselves out, I suppose that’s why beyond my blog I haven’t been to upset about the situation.  I am rather calm about the whole thing….the calm after the storm.    

Work

It’s about 2:30 am and I’m sitting at my client’s parent’s computer.  I love my job.  As horrible as this may sound, I love kids who need help.  Ellie, my client, is the smartest little girl even though she has autism.  This little girl knows exactly what she’s doing and she is so good at getting her way.  I can’t help but smile sometimes when she is getting in trouble with her mom, not in front of her of course, but I just think to myself Ellie is sneaky and she knows it.  When I’m with her I feel like I’m with perfection.  So many people view people with handicaps as useless, or helpless, but I see some of God’s greatest work.  I can’t explain it, but I’m so excited when Ellie does something “minor” because it isn’t minor at all, it is something HUGE; and we both say “Yay”.  There is so much joy in her and I think that’s why I love being with her, she has more joy than most people.  I’m blessed to be helping this little girl, I hope she can sense how much I love her and even if she can’t that’s okay too. 

Pain

So… I guess my decision to rely completely on God came to late.  This is going to be a blog in which I use it as an outlet, so you are possibly going to be offended by some of it, but that’s the risk you take in reading about how people are feeling.  Apparently a lot of people from my church “family” are concerned about my interest in the opposite sex.  However, only one person has truly expressed their concern to me, and to them I am very appreciative.  I am well aware I seek approval from guys, and I am also well aware that it doesn’t work; hence my previous post about giving up on guys and getting to THE MAN! Rather than coming to me and trying to talk to me about how much I depend on guys people felt it necessary to go to another person and tell them about their concern.  My feeling is, if people had just talked to me, they would realize I know where my struggles are, and that I am working on them with my Lord.  I guess when you are working with people, time is not something one can have.  A sudden change has to take place, or people start “being concerned”.  In light of all this, I have stepped down from my place of leadership with the girl’s ministry because I feel like if I’m projecting that I can’t live life without a guy then I don’t need to be a leader.  It’s almost humorous to me because if people actually talked to me they would know that my true heart is for girls to realize God is their everything and nothing else will ever satisfy them; it has taken me a long time to grasp this, and I still struggle with it at times, but I guess that doesn’t matter to people.  If people really knew me, they would know that I dislike talking about guys, as in if I think someone is handsome or not and other things along those lines.  However, a lot of the conflict I have in my life stems from guys because I happen to have a few guy friends that anger me from time to time.  Women were made by God to be a companion for men, of course first and foremost we were put here to worship our Heavenly Father, but we were also put here as helpers for men.  In closing, I would just like to apologize to anyone I have offended with my behavior towards guys.  I do not mean to make anyone feel uncomfortable.  I do love my Lord, and believe it or not He is present in every aspect of my life, and He is only making me stronger.